Will you wake up tomorrow with everything you're thankful for?

It's that time of year again. That time where you're bombarded with the question "what are you thankful for?" While yes it may be quite annoying and redundant to answer the same question twenty times over, it is a perfect time to reflect on all that you have been given in life. The big and the small, all deserve thanking. I have a blog post sitting in my drafts section from about three months ago entitled "The Art of Saying Thank You." As I sit here and write this I regret not publishing that post when I wrote it because even though it wasn't Thanksgiving time, we all need to take time to be thankful for those people and moments in life that we often overlook on a daily basis.
I can personally say this year has given me so much to be thankful for. I thank God everyday for my friends and family that continue to sit by my side even as I'm frantically trying to figure out life. I'm thankful for my education, my dogs, my job, my roof over my head, my clothes on my back and so much more. I sit here and look at the quote "what if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?" and I recognize that I would be without just about everything in my life except for my family and friends. While I do think I would be able to consider myself rich if that's all I had in life, how would I live without these other "things" in life? Why don't we take five minutes everyday to thank God for what we are given? As thanksgiving passed this year, I made a vow to myself to take a minimum of five minutes everyday to reflect on life and what I'm thankful for. So as I begin this journey I begin it with this blog post.
What am I thankful for today and everyday? I'm thankful for my mother who selflessly gives her all to her children. I'm thankful for my brother who somehow still puts up with me after I scream the words "five days" at him over and over again. I'm thankful for the thanksgiving dinner leftovers that fill my refrigerator. I'm thankful for getting through this 5 day break without anyone asking "so do you have a boyfriend?" I'm thankful for the new pair of Donald Duck Vans that my mother blessed me with yesterday. I'm thankful for FaceTime to have been able to see my sister in Colorado as she missed her first thanksgiving at home. I'm thankful for the Five as I don't know how I'd get through school without them. I'm thankful for my sisters and sealios. I'm thankful for my best friend. I'm thankful for my worst enemy. I'm thankful for my grandma and her warm heart for allowing me to go to London. I'm thankful for the kind words of others. I'm thankful for library tables and Uptown coffee. I'm thankful for the smile that changed my life. I'm thankful for my life.
Everything in your life is there for a reason. Even if it may seem bad at that moment, it's there for a reason because God knows that you need it. Your path is waiting for you to walk and be thankful for everything that you pass and encounter along the hike. As you know from previous posts, I strive for and off of challenges. I challenge myself to be thankful for five minutes everyday in self-reflection. How are you going to challenge yourself to recognize those things that you are thankful for on a daily basis? I hope you reflect on that, and discover a way to be thankful everyday. You deserve to wake up tomorrow with everything you had today.

do what makes YOU happy

Lately I've realized that much of my days are filled with trying to please others. Trying to do what makes them happy so they aren't mad at me, so I can move on with my day. This isn't how things should be though, we have to live with ourselves everyday. We spend the most time with ourselves, but we try to do what makes other people and society as a whole happy. Something in this equation just doesn't add up. Have you done inventory of what makes you happy lately? What are those little things that you may do during your daily routine that you don't recognize are making you happy? Or if you don't find yourself happy everyday, what are those things that you can do that will brighten your day?

It's hard to be happy. There are a lot of pressures that can bring you down, but every single person deserves to be happy. I personally have had a really tough semester, but lately I've truly realized what the little things are that bring me some spark of happiness during the day. While I may not be happy with my day, or the events occurring throughout my day I do find ways to bring happiness into my life, in hopes that I can help others be just as happy. As I walk to class everyday and I walk through the crisp leaves on the ground and hear the slight crunching noise I find happiness. As I continue on my journey down High Street going to class, I realize that I am happy looking at the sheer simplicity of Longwood's campus and the happiness on other people's faces. I look at my phone and see a text message from my mother, or any family member, and I am brought happiness knowing that they are there. I walk into the library and am greeted with open arms from those closest to me at Longwood, and I see and feel happiness. I sit here at 1:45 in the morning writing this blog and I am just as happy as I could ever be for how sleep deprived I am. 

I could go on for days. These are all such little tasks, but together they are monumental, and that is what happiness is about. It's about being more than content, being more than okay, it is about living the life you want to live every second of every day. Be happy. Cherish life and be happy. I challenge you to take those small tasks, recognize which ones make you happy, and acknowledge when they happen during your day. If you are able to sit back and see the happiness in your life, you will be able to move forward and help others achieve this happiness as well. 

3 days 3 years ago changed my life

NSLP 2015 showed me how 3 days, 3 years ago somehow managed to change my life. I learned today that it was okay to cry in the woods early Sunday morning. Because today I realized why I was truly crying, I realized I'm happy I walked into the woods where I probably wasn't supposed to be and just let go. For a total of approximately 12 days out of my life I was at NSLP. This was a series of four different trips to Triple C Camp in Charlottesville, Virginia that managed to change me for the better. I thought that when I was in the woods I was crying about that fact that I would never again step foot at NSLP, but that's not the case. NSLP taught me to be a leader. NSLP gave me my best friend, and indirectly gave me my favorite little blonde freshman. NSLP helped me find myself, find my passion, and more importantly allowed me to help others find themselves as well. NSLP 2015 reminded me to always have a heart and reminded me that even if you're in a 'competition' to cheer on your competitors because you really are proud of them too. As I stood in the woods wiping my tears away I thought I was wiping away tears of sadness. Tears that represented my weakness and inability to move on, but I wasn't. I was wiping away tears of joy, tears of confidence and most importantly tears of success. How I thought this crying was a bad thing I will never understand. NSLP holds one of the most special places in my heart. I am a better person because of NSLP. I strive because of NSLP. I am a success because of NSLP. Now one day out of NSLP 2015 I have realized that those tears are a representation of the power, laughter, success, joy, adventure, passion, happiness and pure love that is NSLP. Those tears prove that NSLP 2012 did it's job. That 3 years later I'm a better person with better people in my life because of it. I thank you NSLP, you have changed my life in so many ways. So if you my reader needs to, go cry, go to wherever your "woods" may be and cry, because it's so heartwarming to come to realize what something or someone truly means to you.

"Who can say if I've been changed for the better? But because I knew you, I have been changed for good."

"A wise man changes his mind, a fool never will."

Change is inevitable. I have already faced gross amounts of change since being at school. Change can either make or break you. Often times we let change grab a hold of us and we let it take over our lives. Most people I know see change as a bad thing, we are comfortable in our ways so why change what's already working perfectly? Recently, I've realized that change can be good. If we embrace change with open arms we will not only adapt to this change easier, we will also learn and grow from this. This whole "last year, best year" thing is really making me learn to deal with this concept of confronting change with open arms. Every day I walk around campus, sit in class, talk to friends, go to meetings, and I find something in my daily motions that has changed. Last Tuesday, I experienced an abundance of change during my first SEAL meeting of the semester, and every last second of that change terrified me. I was terrified but I was ready because while it meant the beginning of my end in SEAL, it also meant I'm soon moving on to bigger things in life. Everyday I realize how my physical proximity to my friends has changed as I moved into off campus housing. Around campus the senior class is now experiencing this weird thing where we are the oldest class on campus now.  I have faced changes in both my class load and work load this year. It also feels as if I have faced some sort of change in just about all aspects of my life these past two weeks. This weekend was a huge change for me as I stayed in Farmville as opposed to driving to Richmond like I did every weekend last year, and this was the hardest change I have faced yet. Life is changing all around me, and only I can keep it from bringing me down.
Senior year is a transition. It is when we begin to prepare ourselves for our lives after college. We are no longer the freshman trying to decide our major, we are the seniors trying to determine our life. (Which is rather terrifying for someone who has no clue where they are going.) We are no longer the ones getting lost on campus, we are the individuals preparing for something far bigger than Longwood's campus. So as I go into this year with an open heart and an open mind to all things coming my way, I too open my heart, arms, and mind to the change that is coming. While it may be terrifying, and in some cases heart breaking change, in the end it will be for the better. Ya know, I really am going to make this the best year I can because why not go out with a bang?

Last year, best year

This week marked the official beginning of my final year at Longwood University. My last first day of school, at least for the foreseeable future was on Monday. The beginning of what I'm hoping is my best year at the best university. It also brings a lot of change. This year is going to bring a lot of new adventures to my life. It is going to be a year full of "lasts" and a year full of "firsts." With that I invite you to join me on this journey. My intentions are to document my last year and the planning for my future through my blog, as I best express myself through the written word. This year is going to be full of many uncomfortable situations that I plan to find ways to become comfortable with. As you may or may not know from my previous blog post, I have begun planning my future outside of college. I can't wait to start planning my move out of Virginia for not long after I graduate and this year will bring many realizations about this move that I can't wait to face them with an open mind. This year brings many challenges, but the way that I look at it is that these challenges is rather as stepping stones for me. I can't wait to face this year head on. I believe that an individual has the most potential when they face their challenges with open arms and this is what I plan on doing during my fourth and final year at Longwood. Cheers to the end, but also cheers to what looks like the beginning of a great life outside of the realm of schooling, which seems to be all I've ever known for the past 16 years.

The end is near, and so is a beginning

"What are you going to do after you graduate this year?"
I haven't even began my senior year at Longwood yet and I am already finding myself answering this question what feels like three times a day or more. Honestly who knew I could have so many different answers to the same question? It seems that every time an answer leaves my mouth there is something different about it when compared the last time I answered. There however is one thing that never changes. That being this feeling I get in my heart when I think about graduating and moving on with my life after Longwood. I have never in my life been so set on one thing and that my friends is my decision to spend my summer at home next year, and then take a leap of faith and move away from home.
This past year has been a very difficult one for me, from questioning self worth, to struggling academically, to loosing one of the most important people in my life and let me tell you it has been suffocating. About three or so months ago the words "I'm moving out of Virginia" came out of my mouth for the very first time, and they were the most comforting five words I have ever said. This was the first time I felt okay with my future. Virginia suffocates me, in both good and bad ways. I am challenged to be a better person everyday yet I also don't feel like myself anymore. I am a Virginian. I will always belong in Virginia Beach. 757 will always mean something special to me, but what I look forward to the most in life in this moment is leaving the 757. Leaving and beginning my life somewhere else and finding my definition of life.
I look at the challenges that come with preparing for something such as picking up and beginning all over again and they terrify me. They terrify me in ways that make me want to curl up in a ball and cry, but they also terrify me in ways that motivate me to follow through with this. So next time you see me, ask me again, ask me what I will be doing after graduation. I'm not afraid to answer anymore. I've recognized what is best for me, and while it may end up being the worst decision of my life, I will never know that if I don't follow my heart at first. I have never been so ready to begin a school year as I am right now. I'm not wishing my life away, believe me, recently I have learned to cherish everyday I have but I am ready for this. I am ready to get this year started, to spend it with my closest friends and begin my life after graduation. It's taken a lot for me to fess up and say what I want to do after graduation, but in the end that's all that matters, what I want to do. I believe that this is what is next on my path, this is what warms my heart to think about.
So let me leave you with one question, what is next on your path? Have you discovered it yet? If not it's okay, it'll come to you one day when you're least expecting it. My answer did. Believe me that you will know it is your answer, it will touch your heart in a way that it will make your brain scream this is it, this is next, you can do it. I hope that if you have yet to discover it, that when you do you are as happy and content as I am. And hey, you should share it with me, I'd love to hear where you're off to.

"Oh the places you'll go."

Your life continues, even after we say goodbye

What does it mean to live? Does one simply have to be alive and breathing to live? Among the recent events that my family is enduring I'd say no. One can live even after they have passed. One can still be alive in the love, memories and experiences of those who surpass them in life. And I have come to realize that my Uncle has done just that. Early Monday morning my family had to say goodbye to one of the most loved members of the family after a long hard fight with cancer. These past few days haven't been easy for my family, but this week I have realized the impact that he had on people's lives, and the always contagious positive energy that he had and how honored I am to be able to call him my uncle. Brian Lewis is someone that if you met him, you will never forget, and that to me is what it means to live. He may be physically gone from our presence now, but he will forever be in our hearts. His memories will keep him alive, his laughter, his loving and caring personality, his strength, his perseverance, will all keep him alive. This right here says so much about a person, the impact they have on the world after they have left is just as remarkable as their presence when they are still here. I would be happy if I could be half the person that my uncle was, if when looking back on my life like we have been doing for my uncle these two days, my impact is half as amazing as his. One thing I have realized this week is that I don't have any extraordinary stories or memories to tell about my times with my uncle. At first I was stirred up about this, how can I not think about one absolute amazing memory with the uncle that meant so much to me? However, last night I realized that this is actually remarkable. When I think to the memories I remember the dinners we had together, the time he taught me all about his printer and how it could print amazing pictures, looking at pictures because he was always taking them, receiving random emails with picture attachments that I had no idea he even took, going to the All American Rejects concert and decorating the truck before we left, and so much more. These are the times that I hold near and dear to my heart, the ones that were just us living our daily lives but living them together. I think it is extraordinary that one can have such an impact with such ordinary memories. That is what makes it okay that I don't have one amazing memory, it is amazing that I can sit back and remember that time we were sitting on the couch at the Masseur's house on Christmas night just looking at pictures over and over again. Those ordinary memories hold an extraordinary weight in my heart.
So thank you Uncle Brian. Thank you for always being there. For always having a smile on your face. Thank you for taking countless pictures so that we could look at them. Thank you for sharing your Reese's cups with me. Thank you for the thumb wars. Thank you for always having Jason Mraz to play when I got in the Suburban. Thank you for being you, because if you weren't you, I know my life and the life of those who interacted with you wouldn't be the same. I pray that you are flying high now and that you are at peace. Watch over us all, especially Aunt Cheryl and Taviston because they deserve it. Believe me Uncle Brian "God knows you're worth it," so I know you're up there with Nanny and Dad showing them pictures of your family and your lovely golf course.

"It's been a long day without you, my friend. And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again."