Goodbye third year, hello fourth

Junior year. Tomorrow marks my last day of classes of my third year of college. This year has been a roller coaster to say the least, but I have grown so much in this past year and I wouldn't trade anything about this year. I've been asked questions about where I am going to do my internship, what will I be doing after I graduate, why I am a criminal justice major, and so much more that involves my future. To be completely honest with you all, I absolutely hate those questions. Usually when I say the word hate I by no means actually truly mean hate, but I for sure do hate those questions. Why is the world so centered around the future. In certain aspects this is great, but why are so many others concerned about my future when I don't even have the answers to their questions. This has been one of my largest challenges this year. Facing my future head on. I am so ready to figure out what my future has in store for me, but I want to take it one step at a time. I do not want to work in criminal justice, I do not want to work in law enforcement like I always planned, but this is okay, I will discover what I am meant to do soon enough. I am taking it one step at a time, and as I am finishing my last step of junior year, I want to pause and take a moment to recognize all the amazing things that have occurred this year and those people that have been apart of this year.
*While it was one of the hardest realizations I've ever faced, this year I finally realized that criminal justice is not for me. Junior year, you would think I have it all planned out, but no. I couldn't be any more thankful for this realization to have come at this time. While I didn't go back and change my major, because I do love criminal justice and learning about the system, I am finally content with where I am and not knowing where I want to go after.
**I'm about to pull a gigantic Longwood card. Longwood is my home. I don't know how I only have one year left here because I can't ever imagine being anywhere else in life. This university has brought the most amazing people into my life, and has allowed me to face some of my biggest challenges head on, and I am forever grateful. I think just being at Longwood has made me a different person for the better, this is something that I could never repay this school for.
***My junior year has brought me the most comfort in the aspect of my friendships. I have never in my life felt that I belong where I am more than I have this year. In life I have never felt important in my "friendships" but this year, that has changed. I have encountered the most influential and amazing individuals this year. I truly am grateful to no end for all that they have done for me. I've finally realized that I can prove my past wrong, and that I can hold friendships. I've realized that my friends from the past that I no longer talk to were there for a reason at the time, but that the ones in my life right now are here for a reason, and for the long haul because this is the point in life where I know what my friendships mean to me. They mean the world.
****This year I have realized how much family means to me. I have always loved my family with all my heart but this year I have never been more thankful for the time that I have got to spend with them. After a hard week, they are my rock. No matter if it's trip to the 757, to Richmond for a few hours, to JMU or where ever they may be, it is truly a gift to be able to spend time with them.
*****I could go on for hours about how much this year has changed me, but I have to find a place to call it quits and I think this is the place to end it. This year I have finally accepted that I don't know where I am going, but I know that I am where I am and that I will get to where I am going because of those in my life. This year has answered so many questions but it has also left so many questions unanswered, which is okay. I'm ending this year on a happy note because I know that I have at least one year left here at Longwood with those who mean the world to me and that I am going to make the most of this summer so that I can make the most of next year. Life has thrown a few curve balls my way this year, but each and everyone of those curve balls had a purpose. Thank you Longwood for giving me yet another amazing year.

To my best friend

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. A bunch about who means the most to me, and I think I have finally realized who holds the most weight in my heart at this point in time, and who has for quite some time. I have suffered though having him in my life since day one, like legit day one, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I traveled to visit my brother at James Madison University Thursday night until Friday afternoon to see him present his Senior Capstone Presentation and as I spent time with him it clicked in my head how much a minute with him clears all my worries because I remember that I will always have family. Thanks for being the brother any little sister could only wish for. Being less than a year apart we have spent a lot of our lives at the same phase of life, your finishing college this year, and I'm beginning the end of my college career. I turn 21 on August 11th and until the 17th we get to be twins and be 21 together. I have no doubt that you are on your way to doing big things, especially after seeing you so passionate about your presentation on Friday, and I too hope that I will be going on to big things after this last year at Longwood. You have been my best friend my entire life, when I have no one to go to, when I just need a good laugh, when I just need people to hang out with (I invite myself to hang out with your friends probably way too often), when I need to remember that family is where it all began, I look to you. While I still have no idea what lacritin is after Friday, I can say that I sure wish I did so I could understand what all that smart stuff that was coming out of your mouth meant. Thanks for always being my best friend. Thanks for being the one person that no matter what can make me laugh. Thanks for being my family. Thanks for being Codes when all I need is a pick me up from my brother. My family means the world to me, and I wouldn't trade every second that I can have with them for anything in the world. Sometimes when you're in a rough spot you need to sit back and realize what at that point in time means the most to you. While I have a crap ton that I am thankful for, at this moment, I am extremely thankful for Codes. While you had no choice, thanks for being my brother, and best friend.
To my reader, I ask you, who or what means the most to you? Have you told them lately? If not, go ahead tell them, they deserve to know.

What's your life lesson?

Today I had a reality check. A reality check that I am extremely thankful for. I sat and thought back to my trip to Jacksonville during spring break, and pondered on one experience in particular. On one of the later days in the week my group was sitting in the break room having a discussion with one of the staff members for the company we were working with. His name was Bill, and Bill asked the group, "what is the greatest life lesson that you have learned thus far?" While I'm not about to write about what I told him, I'm going to tell you what I realized today. We, as individuals, are blank canvases, we are able to paint our life day by day and how we choose to live our life will have an impact on us for the rest of our life. In the mornings, we can wake up and say "you know what, this is going to be a great day," or we can simply roll over and begin our days with an attitude. I'm not going to lie, I've had a lot of those roll over days recently, but I think I'm done letting them build up. I want my greatest life lesson (thus far) to mean something to me. I want to live by this lesson. As you may know from previous posts, or just by knowing me, I like challenges. I enjoy to challenge myself and others to tasks that will better themselves, that will require them to step outside of their comfort zone, and change for the better. I am challenging myself to wake up tomorrow and roll over and say "TODAY, is going to be a good day." As tomorrow comes to a close, I'm going to challenge myself to this again, I'm going to go to bed every night challenging myself to wake up and have a good day so that I will paint my life to be beautiful. I want you, my reader, to ask yourself what your greatest life lesson is thus far. Share it with someone you hold near and dear to you. And if you would like, share it with me, I would love love love to hear from you because I love life lessons, and I love learning from other. Take a minute to have a conversation about what you have learned, because you never know how it will change them. When you're finished there, challenge yourself, because if you don't learn to step outside of the norm, then you are just going to live each day over and over again, and in all honesty what fun is that? Love the shoes that you walk in everyday, and if you don't then change them. You have the ability to choose you life destinations, and please don't take that power lightly, because it's quite a large power.

"I think today represents not the first step towards changing the world, but rather the first reward from the many subsequent steps I have been taking all my life to get me here." 

Have a little patience and faith, reward will soon come

Job. Not job, Job as in the pious and prosperous Job from the bible. Job and I are pretty tight if I do say so myself. I was introduced to the story of Job in May of 2010 and man can I tell you ever since that day my life hasn't really been the same. That day in May I began a journey of what would soon bring me my best friends and life-long memories, as well as a new mind-set that I'd like sit back and reflect on. I'm not sure if you're familiar with the story of Job, and if you're not I encourage you to take a step and read up on Job, but until 2010 I was never really sure what I thought about reading and learning from the bible. I've never been one to go to church every Sunday, I went to VBS once, and my family never really talked about our faith in any aspect, so to be honest when I joined JDI in 2010 I didn't really take much from the story of Job. Recently I've really been reflecting on this story that we as an organization were founded on. I'm not going to sit here and rewrite the story of Job for you, but from what I have gathered over these almost 5 years I will enlighten you on how I have reached to the story of Job for reassurance recently. Basically in a simple sentence or two, here it is. Remain patient through all the trials and tribulations even if you don't see an end anytime soon. Continue to have constant faith in the Lord and know that He is there to guide us through it all, because while we may not see it at the time, He knows what to do. Lastly, you will see reward in the end. Through your reluctant patience and your continuous faith, you will reach reward. I've gotten really good at this patience part, I'm gradually getting better at faith as I am still discovering myself and fully understanding my faith, and I sure am waiting for the reward, which I know will come one day but it seems like the longest wait yet. That one day in May brought me a lot more than the story of Job, it brought me countless memories that I will forever be thankful for, a best friend that will always be there, and it enlightened me to my faith and an amazing outlook on life.

"And in all the land were no women found so fair as the daughters of Job: and their father gave them inheritance among their brethren." Job 42:15